I can remember my first date like it was yesterday. It was a sweltering hot Sunday afternoon in the middle of July, and we decided to go to the zoo. My fantasies of a cute afternoon spent strolling, laughing, and chatting were soon completely squashed. My hair was falling flat and lifeless from the intense humidity, and the crowds of people made it so we had to walk single file a la elementary school…not exactly romantic. During the date, I thought it would be fun to go on the carousel together.
“Hey there’s a carousel! We should totally go on it!” I nudged him excitedly.
“Nah…” he said shaking his head.
“Why not?” I tried to hide my disappointment.
“I’m just not really into them. If you really want to go, you go ahead and I’ll stand here and watch.”
Stand here and watch? Yeah… I’ll pass.
At the time, I didn’t want to appear like this had fazed me, so we continued on, walking single file along the path of the sweaty, smelly zoo. Although this wasn’t the only reason, there was never a second date. Looking back, I’m extremely glad there wasn’t. With us not having virtually anything in common, and him seeming to be much more on the wild side than I was, I don’t think it would have been a match made in heaven. At the time, I was upset though. I couldn’t wrap my brain around why a guy going on a first date with a girl wouldn’t want to make a good impression and would refuse a three-minute carousel ride.
I psychoanalyzed every second of that date for the next two months. I checked my phone constantly, thinking he would text me, asking me to hang out. I reached out to him on a couple occasions, but received minimal responses, none of them indicating he was interested. I began to convince myself that it was my fault that he didn’t seem into me on the first date and even though he’d said we should do this again, never contacted me about a second one. I was more self-conscious than ever. I waited. And I waited. And I waited some more. After those two months, I came to the conclusion that it was just flat out not worth it and he was not worth all of the self-doubt.
I definitely don’t have it all figured out when it comes to guys. One thing I’ve learned is that girls can’t wait around for a man to come and whisk them away from all of their troubles. Life doesn’t begin when you find your soul mate. I think in Christian circles this is especially hard to accept when so many are getting engaged and married at such young ages. I can’t spend my time as a single woman waiting, and telling myself that I will finally be happy and content when the perfect man enters my life. I need to wait on God’s timing, not on a man.
Whether you have a personal relationship with God or not, I hope that you can relate to some aspects of my story and can apply them to your own life. Standing outside of the carousel of life; not wanting to experience all of life’s adventures until finding Mr. Right is a big mistake. I know that God will bring the right guy into my life at the right time. In the meantime, I’ll be riding the carousel solo, waiting for him to jump on.