Don’t Be a (Pity) Party Girl

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They’re the worst kind of parties out there. They don’t involve cake, gifts, friends, family, or laughter. Usually there’s only one guest in attendance. Sometimes we may vent to someone near by, but in many cases, we feel as though they can’t relate to what we’re going through. So we continue the solo pity party.

They can happen at any time for virtually any reason. A close friend forgot your birthday… again. Pity party time! You’re still single after so many years of being faithful and patient. Pity party time! You feel like nothing you wear looks good on you, and you might as well stick to sweatpants for the rest of your days. Pity party time! No matter the time, it seems like there’s always time for a pity party.

Some are short-lived; others can ruin our entire day and leave us wallowing in self-doubt and misery. I’ve had my fair share of pity parties, and I’m sure you have too. What do we do when they happen? It’s easy to let toxic thoughts beat us down. In many cases, it feels worse to be beaten down by our own thoughts than by the hurtful words of others. The phrase, “We are our worst critic,” is definitely accurate.

When I feel a party coming on, and not a fun one that involves cupcakes and sparkling cider, there are a few things that I try to do. Maybe you’ve tried them before, but if you haven’t, I encourage you to try ‘em out! It just might be the thing to make your day.


  1. Call up a close friend or family member that makes you feel good about yourself. If you can visit them in person, that’s even better!
  1. Watch your favorite show or movie that never fails to make you laugh.
  1. Stop comparing yourself to others and compare yourself to yourself. This doesn’t mean comparing yourself to your past self or future self that you haven’t even met yet. It means knowing that there is a present version of you that has the potential to be the best they can be. Strive for that, not someone else’s life.
  1. Realize that people are selfish. It’s harsh, but true. There are some who are just so wrapped up in themselves, their own lives, and their own hardships, that your well-being is not a thought they would have in their head. Don’t resent them for it. Don’t allow it to cause a pity party. Realize they have flaws like all of us and try to personally do a better job to not be like them and instead have a heart for others.
  1. Have patience that these feelings are not permanent unless you allow them to be. We all have a unique reason and purpose for being here. Trust that as fact. Psalm 30:5 says, “Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning.” Try your hardest to dig deep inside to find that joy.

Those last three are things that I need to constantly remind myself of when I feel a pity party coming on. It’s not always easy to get out of the gutter of self doubt, but it’s always worth it when we do. With faith, patience, and love and acceptance for ourselves and others, we will be well on our way to a life of fewer pity parties.


What do you do when you feel a pity party coming on?

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